Mar 28

Mar 28 Black. Single. Mother.: Real Life Tales of Longing and Belonging - Jamilah Lemieux

This book is LONG overdue. And it came at a time when dumping on Black single mothers is at an all-time high.

Jamilah Lemieux is a name I’d heard but wasn’t really sure who she was exactly. I would see her name in passing when I was still on Twitter (before it was bought by that egomaniac) but I had no idea how much of a big deal she was on social media. This book not only set me straight, it also gave me a clear view into what her journey was like to becoming a single mother. Correction, a Black single mother. Because honey, there is definitely a difference in society’s eyes.

The author said that she was afraid of what people would think about this book. The title alone has the capacity to set off the most unhinged people on social media. Because according to the manosphere, the church, that “friend” down the street and yes, even the government, they believe that being a Black single mother is the lowest of the low. Black women caring for our children without a man in a world that hates us is a no-no, while white women are lauded for it (ahem, Kate Hudson and her three baby daddies). Thanks to the Moynihan Report (I hope that man is ROTTING), Black single mothers are responsible for the breakdown of the Black family (not mass incarceration, racism, etc.) and should be treated with scorn. We are villainized for being mothers. Mothers who work to the bone to put food on the table. Mothers who graduate from college at rates higher than anyone else (as well as our children). Mothers who, most of the time, do it alone.

But Ms. Lemieux lets readers know that these women are people, plain and simple. Like the author, we dealt with the heartbreak of losing the man we thought we’d raise a family with, the stress of paying for and planning everything, with no support or very little (I was, and still am, very fortunate to have a family that supported me throughout, as well as well-paying jobs that helped me out financially), all while society treats us like dirt. Ms. Lemieux also talks about what it is like to navigate dating, sex and the hope of finding a lasting, and loving, relationship.

The second half of the book consists of interviews with other Black single mothers from all walks of life. Their stories are relatable and insightful without sugarcoating the hardships that come with being a single mother. One particular story challenged me because I found myself initially being judgmental about the woman’s choices, which gave me pause. Old and harmful ideas of how a Black single mother should be came to the surface, ideas I thought had left me long ago. Instead of reading her interview with love and empathy, I found myself questioning why she did what she did. Not gonna lie, I felt ashamed of myself. Because how can I, a Black single mother myself, read this woman’s story and not feel anything but disdain for how the world treated her and her children? Why did I feel the need to judge her at all? That interview, and so many others, made me look inward and think about why I still held on to that judgment and what work I needed to do to let it go. I believe it will do the same for so many other readers who have their own beliefs on single motherhood.

I think this book is necessary because Black single mothers are rarely seen as human beings. We love, laugh, rage and feel. We adore our babies and want nothing but less than the world for them. The stink that Moynihan and that demon Reagan left on Black women has followed us for decades, creating a discourse that has harmed us in so many ways. Thankfully, Ms. Lemieux has written a book that will hopefully open some eyes and hearts of our biggest detractors.

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an advance copy.

Where to buy: The Lit. Bar Loyalty Bookstores Call & Response Books Reparations Club

Support my book habit: Book Minded Mag's 2026 Wishlist